Like so many writers in the query trenches, I spend a lot of time reading “how I found my agent” stories online. Depending on the day, I find the exercise either torturous or inspirational. Sometimes all I get from a story, especially one where the author received an immediate offer on her first submission, is a squirmy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Why can’t that be me?” I whine to my unsympathetic cat.

Then I read accounts from authors who struggled. Who wrote book after book, queried again and again, and didn’t give up until they landed an agent and made a sale. Those are the stories that fill me with a glowing sort of energy. Like the feeling you get when you listen to a Queen song.

The other day I happened to read just such an account from YA romance author Katherine Fleet. In her piece on Writer’s Digest (check it out here), she talks about the years she spent honing her craft, overcoming cancer, and finally landing a fabulous agent through sheer perseverance. Plus she lives in Curaçao, which is totally baller.

What made me really sit up and take notice (as though all that wasn’t enough) was the fact that she referenced my all-time favorite nonfiction book: Mindset by Carol Dweck.

I read it several years ago when I was still teaching, and to say it changed my life is not an overstatement. I knew I was afraid of failure—it had led me to take fewer risks when I was younger, and, as a result, I harbor regrets—but I didn’t know why.

Cue Mindset. After reading the book, I realized that my core problem was in fact a “fixed” mindset. I unconsciously believed that my talent was a set, static thing, and if I failed at something then it was a statement about my abilities and worth as a person.

WRONG.

Talent is just the starting point. Anyone can grow their abilities if they’re dedicated and willing to put in the effort.

To take an example from the book, it’s like the difference between John McEnroe and Michael Jordan. One relied solely on talent. When the going got tough, instead of buckling down and working through challenges, he fizzled out and became better known for his epic temper-tantrums than his tennis skills. The other built on his talent through unparalleled work ethic and became the greatest basketball player of all time.

Failure is just a speed bump on the road to success. If you adopt a growth mindset—in your writing pursuits and in life—you are more likely to push through setbacks and achieve your goals. Just got your 20th rejection? Or your 50th? Okay. Time to assess what’s wrong with my query/first chapters/full manuscript, rework what needs reworked, and try again.

But don’t quit. Never quit. Because rejection doesn’t equal failure; you only fail if you give up. You may need to adjust your definition of success (not everyone can write a NYT Bestseller, after all), but if you have a growth mindset, you can find a measure of success that’s meaningful to you.

So it’s with this fresh dose of inspiration that I’m approaching my own journey to publication. I’ve had a very exciting week with promising developments, but if things don’t happen to pan out along the way? Back to the grindstone.