Every January, the same question is offered up as fodder in daily small-talk: “What’s your New Year’s resolution?”

But what if, like me, you don’t do resolutions?

Not that I have anything against them. I’ve made resolutions in the past—I’m going to lose 20 pounds this year! And then I do the inevitable join a gym thing, like everyone else on the planet, go obsessively for a couple of weeks, and within a month, fall off the wagon. A mini-funk filled with boatloads of chocolate follows, and by Valentine’s Day, forget losing weight, I’m adding more cushion.

So yeah, resolutions aren’t my jam. Because it’s too easy for me to create big starry-eyed hopes that only set myself up for failure. Resolutions are nothing but commitments to change something about your life, and the best kind of change, the kind that sticks, is accomplished one deliberate step at a time. So instead of resolutions, I set goals.

Lots and lots of goals.

Little ones, so that each time I achieve a goal I can set another one that’s a tad more ambitious. In the end, it’s like climbing a staircase. If I tried to jump to the top in a single leap, I’d fall. But by taking smaller steps, eventually I reach the pinnacle.

So what are my goals for 2017?

1. Write every day. Even if it’s only 500 words. 100 words. Anything. On days when I’m feeling inspired? Write as much as I can, let the pages fill up with words like air in a balloon. On days when the last thing I want to do is stare at a blank page? Stream-of-conscious something. Just so the page isn’t blank anymore.

I set the same goal for myself in 2016, and I’m super proud to say that I nailed it. The result? I wrote & polished my first romantic suspense novel, The Hustler, won several RWA chapter contests, and signed with my dream literary agent. Now that I’m writing my second novel, I’m back to this first step. But that’s okay. I’ve seen where that one step can get me if I keep climbing.

2. Read at least one book each month by an author I’ve never read. Confession: when it comes to expanding my reading list, I can be quite the chicken shit. I tend to burrow in my safe, little comfort zone, surrounded by authors I already know & enjoy. That needs to stop. I’m firmly opposed to living a boring life, and goodness, is that boring. So, my new goal for 2017 is to read at least one unknown (to me) author every month in addition to my stable of favorites.

For January, upon the advice of a friend, I picked up Sally Thorne’s The Hating Game. And holy sexy banter, Batman, was it phenomenal. It’s my new obsession—seriously, stop what you’re doing right now and read The Hating Game. Go on, I’ll wait…

SEE! Completely, utterly brilliant writing. I don’t normally read rom-coms, but this one rocked my world. And just think…if I hadn’t taken the chance on a new author, I never would have had all of these happy, cartwheeling, butterfly feelings of joy at reading such a fantastic book.

3. Set aside an hour each week to enjoy a hobby. Balance isn’t just that thing I’m missing that makes me fall on my butt in hot yoga. It’s kind of important to, you know, life. As much as I strive to spend every free waking minute writing, in truth, I’m not a happier person for it. Committing to setting aside at least one hour to myself each week that doesn’t involve working, parenting, writing, adulting, or heavy brain activity will give me some sorely-needed time to recharge my batteries.

My hobby of choice? Cross-stitching. I flippin’ love it. Brightly-colored threads, little patterns like a puzzle, pull the needle through, tighten, poke, pull, repeat. Count the stitches, watch a lovely design emerge. Sigh. I can already feel my blood pressure lowering.

Plus, do you know how many times I’ve read characters in books say, “I’m going to get that [witty spot of banter] embroidered on a pillow?” Well I can actually embroider that. Boo-ya.

4. Hug my husband every day. Because in our harried, modern lives, romance is often all too quickly the first item on the chopping block. And because my husband is a hoss and I like getting a handful of those sexy muscles. Plus there’s the health benefits—gravy.

5. Forgive myself on days I fail. Out of the whole list, this goal is the most crucial. The make-or-break goal that defines me as a person.

Because perfect is the enemy of good.

I’ve discovered over the years that my factory default settings tend toward the following: try something, fail, wallow in feelings of failure, give up. I have worked very, very hard to change this mindset, but it can be a struggle. The key, I’ve found, is forgiveness.

Maybe I skip a day of writing. Okay, forgiven. Today is done, tomorrow is a fresh opportunity to meet my goals. Stumbling on the path to success is natural and NBD as long as I Keep. Moving. Forward. You only truly fail if you give up, after all.

And those are my goals for the new year—ta da! Do you set goals or resolutions? Share in the comments.